In this deeply moving episode, Brian D. Smith shares his journey from devastating loss to founding Grief to Growth, a platform dedicated to helping others navigate their grief and find a path to healing. Through his story, we learn the importance of mental fitness, community support, and the resilience required to turn personal tragedy into an opportunity for growth. Brian’s insights into the challenges of starting and sustaining a heart-based business, coupled with his practical advice for fellow entrepreneurs, make this episode a must-listen for anyone looking to make a meaningful impact through their work. Join us as we explore the transformative power of grief and the unexpected paths it can lead us on.
🎧Listen to the full episode and explore the transformative power of grief with Brian!💙
Key Takeaways from this Episode
- The essence of a heart-led business
- Transforming personal tragedy into a mission
- The power of mental fitness in overcoming grief
- Building a community of support
- The challenges and surprises of starting a heart-based business
About the Guest
Brian D. Smith is a Grief Guide, Life Purpose Coach, and Small Business Consultant committed to helping others rediscover their true selves and purpose. After the sudden loss of his daughter Shayna in 2015, Brian turned his grief into a mission to help others navigate life’s toughest challenges. He guides people to understand that knowing “who we are” and “why we are here” is key to thriving. Brian is the author of Grief 2 Growth: Planted, Not Buried, the creator and host of the Grief 2 Growth podcast, and a dedicated volunteer with Helping Parents Heal and the SoulPhone Foundation.
Additional Resources
- Website: www.grief2growth.com
- Instagram: www.instagram.com/grief2growth
- Youtube: www.youtube.com/@Grief2growth
- Facebook
www.facebook.com/ilprofessore
www.facebook.com/grief2growthcommunity
www.facebook.com/groups/grief2growth - Podcast: podcast.grief2growth.com
- Book: Grief 2 Growth: Planted, Not Buried. How to Survive and Thrive After Life’s Greatest Challenges
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Explore the Dialogue’s Treasures: Unearth the insights within! Delve into the profound wisdom woven throughout our conversation.
Speaker: 0:01
Welcome to the Heart Led Business Show, where compassion meets commerce and leaders lead with love. Join your host, Tom Jacobs, as he delves into the insightful conversations with visionary business leaders who defy the status quo, putting humanity first and profit second. From heartfelt strategies to inspiring stories, this podcast is your compass in the world of conscious capitalism. So buckle up and let’s go. Let your heart guide your business journey.
tom-jackobs: 0:36
So buckle up buttercups today on the heart led business show. We’ve got Brian Smith, the grief guide, who’s gallantly galloping towards the realm of rediscovery, ringing the bell of mental fitness and reigniting your radiant rise to resiliency. So take a seat and tune in because we’re about to dive deep into the delightful depths of Brian’s own bold heart led business. Brian, Welcome to the show. Well, you know, I like to ask all the guests, kind of the first question is always the same. What’s your definition of a heart led business?
brian-d–smith: 1:11
Yeah, I think that’s a great question. I remember when I was younger hearing that if you love what you do, you’ll never work a day in your life, I think, right?
tom-jackobs: 1:20
Right.
brian-d–smith: 1:20
And I I was like, what does that even mean? Because I have to work to make money. A heart led business is a business that you would do even if you weren’t getting paid. So, to I, to me, that’s kind of like, it’s, it’s your, it’s your passion and it’s something that you kind of lose yourself doing, find going to do it even though you’re, you’re, not going to necessarily make any, money from whatever it is that you happen to be doing at that moment.
tom-jackobs: 1:43
Awesome. I picked up on something that you said in there, it was kind of lose yourself in it. And I know personally, I’ve lost probably days doing the work that I just absolutely love to do. And it’s just, it’s so interesting that, you know, time just flies. You know, as they say, time flies when you’re having fun. And yet, when you’re doing the things that in the business, because every business has those things that aren’t necessarily enjoyable, and the time just kind of, goes pretty slow as well.
brian-d–smith: 2:10
Yeah. So think we should and it’s going to spend 15 minutes doing this. thing you know, it’s an, it’s an hour later or an hour and a half later, and you’re still doing it.
tom-jackobs: 2:19
And loving it, right? It’s not like reconciling the checkbook or something like that. Yeah. Takes forever. Cool. So what inspired you to start a heartled business and maybe tell a little bit about what your, your business is right now?
brian-d–smith: 2:31
Sure. Well, um, name of my business implies grief to growth. my business came out of a tragedy in my life. And it was when my 15 year old daughter uh, who is behind me, passed away suddenly in 2015. I was a, she was a healthy girl, really a great athlete, great uh, student. And it was a June day, we were recording this in July and she just, uh, wake up that morning. She it was called sudden unexplained death in children. So as you can imagine, I was like devastated. You know, what do you, what do you do now? Your, your, your life feels like it’s over. I have another daughter, uh, my wife, was running a business at the time. of an entrepreneur. So I have a business, uh, online business, my wife and I are selling hair and skincare. And i, you know, so I did that and I I was trying to figure out how to heal, where do I go from here, all those things and got involved in an organization called Helping Parents Heal, started working. of all, I was being counseled, I guess I’d say, by had lost children. I was receiving the, the, the healing. And after a few years of doing that and volunteering with them, was like, it’s time for me to try be back. To help other people that are going through this. So, about five years ago, I got the inspiration to start grief to growth. And again, based on this idea that when you feel like you’ve been devastated, you can actually grow from that. You can, you can come back from that. And I use the analogy of a seed, you know, when we bury something in the ground, it doesn’t come back, right? we put put it, we call it buried cause it’s not coming back. seed in the ground, we’re planting it. We’re expecting something to come out of it. And that’s what I try to help people understand. So that’s the business I do. I’m a life coach, but I specialize with people that are in grief. And I realized that that’s what all coaches are. We’re all trying to help people. we’re telling them this mindset that we want them to have. but how do I hold on to it? I’ve got to build these skills. I’ve got to build these muscles. So I work with clients to help them, not only to perspective, but to be able to come back to that. and to be able to build that mental fitness muscle. So I’m uh, with people one on one. I do some uh, some classes that people can can, can, buy through me. I just recently started an online community. So I’ve got a group of about 250 now that are coming together to to support each other. I love the quote by ram Dass, we’re all just walking each other home. I was working with a coach earlier and we were talking about grief counselor, grief whatever, what are you going to call yourself? And he said, what about a grief guide? And I’m like, I like that because the client where we’re going to go. And I’m kind of in the, in the co pilot seat, helping them navigate. Figure out where, where, is it you want to go. And then we figure out together, how do we get there? that path together. I’m not necessarily
5:27
team
brian-d–smith: 5:27
or training, bringing forth the wisdom that they already have within them.
tom-jackobs: 5:31
Yeah, no, that, that’s what a wild story. And I can’t, I can’t even imagine losing a child. I don’t have children. So, that’s, that had got to be probably the worst day,
brian-d–smith: 5:43
It’s the worst day imaginable. It’s every parent’s nightmare. Um, as a a parent, you, you’d give up your life for your child. I can’t think of any parents I know that said they wouldn’t do that or wouldn’t say they’d do that. So when your child, you like, you feel like a failure for one thing because you couldn’t protect them. feel, I still their parent? You know, where are they? Are they okay? You know, all those questions. with a client very recently that lost a child and they’re like, I really relied on my faith. Um, devout Christian, but now this has me questioning everything. So just like your, your whole foundation out from under you. expectations of the world, people aren’t supposed to die first, old people are supposed to die first. I’m, I’ve got faith. God protect me. All those, all those questions. So, those are the, that my clients come to me, they’re real easy questions, right? light stuff. But I think those are the, important things. and, And if we can answer those questions, if we can understand who we are, why we’re here, we came from, where we’re going, everything changes, everything shifts, and that’s I’m at now and the point I’d like to help other people get to.
tom-jackobs: 6:55
It’s, you know, when you say that, it seems like it’s, Almost a tragedy that we have to wait for a tragedy to actually do that work. And you
brian-d–smith: 7:04
you know, it’s, human nature.
tom-jackobs: 7:06
I’ve, handled this a long time. I think it kind goes back even to evolution. So
brian-d–smith: 7:12
if you’re doing something and it’s working, the most efficient thing is to keep doing that same thing. We’re not, we don’t invent things because things are working. We invent things because things aren’t working. It sucks that as humans, that we need these tragedies to kick us in the butt to move us forward, but that’s kind of who we are and that’s okay. Those, you get the where a lot of my clients are, and I try to be, it’s like, you don’t see these things as tragedies anymore. them as being useful in your life. As, as weird as that may sound, and it’s not just even losing a child, it’s getting a divorce. It’s losing a job. It’s, you know, it’s COVID that we went through, you know, that we all went through. So all of these things, we label them good or bad, but in reality, they can all be useful.
tom-jackobs: 8:01
Yeah. I mean, they’re, they’re, they’re, they’re data points really for, for us. But, you know, when, when, when things are going well, I mean, we still need to do some deep work. Like, I would think that we still need to do some deep work in terms of keeping our mental health active and doing those fitness because you don’t wait until you can’t walk anymore. Before you start exercising. We’re like, actually, that’s probably not a good analogy because people, people still do that. Right. They don’t exercise until they actually have to lose the weight or what have you. But yeah, that’s like, you’re right.
brian-d–smith: 8:35
It’s great if you can, and you’re, you’re, blessed or you’re a lucky person. If you can do that when you don’t need to do it. I started meditating of anxiety. I started studying the afterlife because I had a fear of death. A lot as you said, we start working out when the doctor says you’ve got to take off 20 pounds, you That’s, kind of the way we are, but if you can do it when you’re not in crisis, it’s so much easier. The fact is we’re all going to go through Christ at some point in our life. It’s just the nature of being a human being. We’re going to lose our health. We’re going to lose a loved one. Somethings going to to happen to us can that you’re in good times and get prepared for the bad times. I started to send the afterlife one before Shane had passed away, and I felt like that set me up so that when she did, one of the blessings I had was worried about where she was. I never worried about if she was okay. I, that was taken away from me because I had done that preparatory work.
tom-jackobs: 9:33
Oh yeah. I mean, that’s, that’s, that’s amazing that, you were doing that prep work before, before she passed. Hopefully that eased a little bit for you. It,
brian-d–smith: 9:42
it did. we grieve, I look at it, it’s a dual thing. We grieve the person, we grieve for ourselves because we lost that person. like, Oh, this is, you know, it’s, it sucks on having them. but most of us also grieve for what that person lost. longer here. They’re not life. They don’t exist anymore. So those are the two of grief, I would say. If we can take away the part of grieving for them. for their loss, can just deal with our own loss. And that’s, that’s uh, I like to.
tom-jackobs: 10:16
Yeah, no, that’s much better perspective too. It’s a lot healthier. You had said something earlier about the, the seed and when we plant the seed, bury the seed and then it grows. Talk to, talk to us a little bit more about that and kind of how, how that philosophy kind of impacts your, your business and how you work with people and how you’ve been able to heal as well.
brian-d–smith: 10:40
Yeah, well, that came from um, from Jesus in the Bible. I’m not a Christian anymore. was raised as a Christian. Um, Jesus has a lot of really things to say. And one is, he talks about unless a grain of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains alone. But if it falls to the ground and dies, it comes back and it produces much fruit. So it’s a way of looking at the things that we consider to be tragedies in our life. As starting points as, okay, what’s to to happen. And then you get to carry the analogy a little bit farther. When we plant a seed, it’s dark, it’s cold, it looks like it’s never going to come back. If you come back and look at it every day, it’s like, okay, looks same, still there, still buried, come yet. back yet. Goes through the winter, you know, if you’re playing a bulb, it doesn’t come up till the spring. of analogies here we can take for our own lives. So that’s um, what I try to do is help people shift to that mindset. a lot clients are like, they want to rush through, right? They’re like, how fix this? I want to get, I want to get back to the person I was before. The other thing about that analogy is that seed doesn’t, it doesn’t remain a seed, it becomes something different. To become something different. You’re, you’re not going to be what you were before. You’re going to be. something better, you know, one day and time, nature shows us that things don’t just sprout overnight, you know, it, takes a while. we work with uh, understanding like wherever you are, it’s okay. are it’s where you’re meant to be. And it’s okay to aspire to be better but, I, I try to help people understand, let’s, live in the moment. and Let’s embrace the moment.
tom-jackobs: 12:22
That’s, that’s beautiful. I like, I really like that analogy because it, it really does mimic life or corresponds with life as we, as we go through it. Let’s, let’s shift gears a little bit and let’s talk about the business side. So you started a heart led business and in all definitions this is like the prime definition, for me anyway, your business is a prime definition of a heart led business because it’s really helping people at a very tragic point in their lives. How was that? Like, what were the fears, the thoughts that went through your head when you were starting to start, start this new business in terms of kind of just the business side of it?
brian-d–smith: 13:02
Yeah, I, um, as I said, when I started this, I was running a business uh, retail business selling hair and skincare products, I’ve been doing that for that time. 15, 16 years so, and I had a background before that in sales, corporate sales. I was one of the first people to build an internet business. I’ve been on the internet a very long time. So I was like um, started, frankly, wasn’t business. it’s, were a series of synchronicities came about. So I had a friend, she was, she’s intuitive. She’s a medium. And one day she sent me a message on facebook. She said, I saw this life coaching class I thought you’d like to take. And I’m like, why would you think I want to be a life coach? I have no desire to be a life coach. I don’t, you know, I of laughed at life coaches and people that have life coaches and I was like, yeah, maybe I’ll just go, I’ll take it a you to me course. I took it and I thought this could help me in my volunteer work. And I’ve always been, interested in technology and stuff. And I, I’d listening to a bunch of podcasts had passed and they really helped me. And I thought, well, I could do a podcast. So I started doing a podcast and so things of naturally evolved. And was listening to a podcast one day and this guy his name is George Cal. He’s a, business coach, but he works with heart based businesses, you know, people that are kind of like I am. And I was like, so I took a mastermind with him and that he called it a master heart actually. And I did that with him for year. I was doing that, like, Oh, this is the business I’m supposed to do. That’s how I, got into it. It was just a series of steps. One thing leading to another, I didn’t just like leap into it. And here I am five years later, I’m just selling my other business. So I’m closing that down shifting to putting all my energy into doing this.
tom-jackobs: 14:48
wow. That’s so five years have, has been from that moment where you started doing the podcast and, and building the business.
brian-d–smith: 14:55
Yeah. It’s been about five years.
tom-jackobs: 14:57
five years. So you didn’t most entrepreneurs or wantrepreneurs as I call them, you know, they got to sit down, do the business plan, figure it out, get the spreadsheets out, figure out profit and loss. So you didn’t do any of that. It was very organic as it, as it came, came about.
brian-d–smith: 15:14
Yeah. And this is. this is, my process now. I’m, I’m in the latter part of my life, so I’m, I’m 63. this is like last thing, you know, that I’m going to, I’m going to do. But when I started my other business, of the same thing. I was working full time in sales I love, I was playing with the internet cause I worked for, I did corporate IT internet was just starting up, so I was like, I could build a Yahoo site. So I, I built a website. And I went out and I bought a few products. I stuck them in the basement, put them up on the Yahoo site. When sales started coming in, I invest a little bit more, Pardon, some other products and she built my own product line. So that business grew very organically and I was doing my full time job and that for for a probably three to five years before I quit my full time job. when it got to the point where I had enough of an income from that, it wasn’t a stressful leap. And for me with this business, while I would like to make money, I don’t, I’m, as I said, I’m, I’m. Nearing retirement, I don’t need to make a lot of money. So I’m in that phase of my life. So I can build it and invest, cautiously.
tom-jackobs: 16:23
Yeah. Well, I, I like that because so many, you know, Instagram. Influencers or whoever they are talk about, just go all in, burn the bridges. Just quit your day job, go right, right, right to your passion project. And that to me just is really bad advice because it’s, I think it’s irresponsible to not allow some of that planning phase as well. And very similar to you. It did before I started my personal training business, I was still working a full time job. It took me. I don’t know, probably about two years before I quit the full time job, before I was comfortable enough to know that this side gig, which it was for several years, can now be my full time gig and my passion project. And, and it worked out really, really well. You know, had that business for 10 years before selling it. So hearing that it took you five years or it’s been five years and it’s been a gradual growth is, is really refreshing because I think a lot of people are in that position right now. And, you know, coming out of, especially coming out of COVID, they’ve started some side hustles and maybe they’re going okay, but they might want to take that full time. What would be your, your advice for somebody that’s doing something part time that wants to take it full time? What, what should they be looking out for? Well,
brian-d–smith: 17:40
um, I work with a lot of small businesses. In fact, help them, build websites, put in, you know, systems, calendaring, stuff like that. I do that kind of as my side hustle. Side hustle of yours. Are you still using front page for website building? No, we actually using Wix now. But yeah, my First not going to work for everybody. So I, you and I are more aligned, to thinking that some people say go full in. you know, go out and get investors, do the business plan, all that stuff. It puts a lot of pressure on you. So you’re going to do anything you can to make money as opposed to being passionate about your business because of that pressure that you’ve got. I take more of the, like, let’s let it grow slowly approach and let’s invest, as we have some money coming in, come that around and have it going out. The businesses that I’ve had have been profitable. Didn’t have to worry about like having losses because, you know, I started small. About 15, the product when I started my first business. And that’s, that grew into a business for over 20 years. I had years, I was making six figures in that business. So for people that are, if you, you’re going get to a where forget, at my desk one day, working for guy and I, you know, I’ve I’ve worked from home forever. so I’d started this side hustle was answering the locks line. I was answering the great Northern line and I picked up the phone and I’d say, good afternoon, Treasured locks. And it was my boss and Treasured locks was my side and he goes, I thought you worked for me. And I said, Oh yeah, I’m just sitting here and I’m helping my wife out with her business. So, and, and that’s what it dawned on me. It’s like, yeah, maybe, maybe it’s time to make the leap.
tom-jackobs: 19:18
That’s great. That boss was probably very shocked when, when you answered the phone that way. That’s, that’s funny.
brian-d–smith: 19:24
Yeah.
tom-jackobs: 19:25
Cool. So what kind of surprises have happened since having a heartled business that you didn’t anticipate when you first started? Either good or, or bad, or actually both would be, and have a nice.
brian-d–smith: 19:36
Yeah. Well, since I’ve done a business really shocking has happened. The thing for, for maybe other is that it takes so much more of a pipeline on one end, reaching people sales on the other end, when you’re, email list you think I’m going to send an email and everybody’s going to open it. And you realize 20 percent of the people open it and only a certain percentage of them actually it will buy. So building a YouTube it takes a while to get, people. You see these influencer and you think I’m going to put up a YouTube channel. I’m going to have a thousand subscribers in six, have a hundred thousand subscribers at the end of the year. It’s going to take to build an audience. It’s been a little bit of a frustration to be honest with you. That’s one thing. The other thing is that um, this isn’t really a surprise, but it’s really, how do you you measure success? You know, this five years into it, because it’s like, if you’re building a heart based business. You’re there to serve me and if you serve one person or people 500 people. You know, if you serve that one person, it’s satisfying for you. So trying not get caught up in the metrics. And not comparing yourself to other people. And I was just telling my wife earlier, I do this still, I just crossed, I’ve got like 15,000 YouTube and so what do I do? To has 1. 5 million. Terrible. But then I was looking today, and they’ve been doing channel for over a year. Have three subscribers. And, so it’s all relative. So trying, we have to try not to be comparing ourselves to that next person and try again, try to be happy.
tom-jackobs: 21:16
Yeah. And, and give us, give ourselves grace in terms of the speed at which things actually happen. I think there was a Tony Robbins, a quote that was I think, well, I heard it from him, I don’t know if it’s his quote, but we underestimate, we overestimate what we can accomplish in a year. And underestimate what we can accomplish in 10, in 10 years. I think that’s so true because a lot of people, they, they go into a business or like, I need to make math, you know, well, you see these ads, six figures in six months and, you know, you know, just do it organically. It’ll happen. Of course, you just put the, put the work in and it’ll happen. And then you’re racing, racing, and you don’t get to that six figures by the end of the year. And you’re like, Oh, complete failure. And then over time, if you keep consistently doing what you’re doing, then in 10 years, you’re going to be way over what you thought. But unfortunately, I think a lot of people quit after that one year of putting so much pressure on themselves to make that money versus leading with their heart and knowing that this passion, if they’re going to do it, do it well, there’s a market for it. And people are willing to pay for it, then it’s going to be success if you’re putting your heart into it and serving the clients at the same time. Yeah,
brian-d–smith: 22:30
that’s, that’s excellent. That’s, that’s really well said. And I think that’s extremely important. Um, just have to stick with it, you know, and there are going to be quote failures. Um, interesting because my wife and I would always, when we were running our business our retail business. I was always investing in stuff. I would, I would try facebook. I would try Google ads. I would hire these marketing agencies. I would hire and she’s like, Brian, why are you doing this? It never works out. And I’m like, because something will, to keep going I would bring in products and I would just like, no, this was going to be a hit. We’re going to sell tons of this. Sell none. And then I bring in other products she’s you bringing this in? You know, I one was this makeup line like, it’s, it’s not very expensive. You can buy it anywhere. I was like, just have a feeling about it. So we brought it and We did great. It was one of our top selling products Because they were a very regional company. of places that
tom-jackobs: 23:24
products
brian-d–smith: 23:24
weren’t available and they would advertise nationally. So people would go look for their product they couldn’t find it in the stores. They get online. only ones carrying it online and they didn’t have a website, so they would send, to us. So you just, you never know where it’s going to come from. So if you’re, if you’re doing a business, keep trying things. I, one on one coaching. I’m doing classes. I books. I’ve got the podcast. You have to have multiple things out there. You never know which one’s going to pop.
tom-jackobs: 23:54
Yeah, yeah. And, and not being completely married to the first idea, but to the purpose that you’re trying to accomplish. You know, I heard today on another podcast that, YouTube actually started as a dating site back when they first, so who would have guessed that you know, YouTube, and if you go back into the web, history I think you can see that like, it really has that dating element to it. And a tool like Slack was a video game. And before it became such a prevalent use in, in all of business now.
brian-d–smith: 24:26
I Was bookstore I’ll never forget. I was, I was working for IBM and, and this was the early days of the internet because they were one of the first ones and someone said, there’s this bookstore online called Amazon. I’m like, why would anybody buy books online? No sense to me.
tom-jackobs: 24:42
Same, same. I thought the same thing. Yeah. But you want to be able to read it. And of course they have the technology so that you can still preview the book before you purchase it, which, yeah. And now look at Amazon. It’s crazy. Well, Brian, we’re coming up to the, to that time where we where we’re ending the show. Why don’t you tell the viewers how they can get in touch with you and where they can find you online.
brian-d–smith: 25:07
Yeah. The easiest thing is to go to my website it’s grieftogrowth.Com. as grief. two And you can find out of my podcast, my YouTube my services everything there. I
tom-jackobs: 25:20
have a
brian-d–smith: 25:20
have a community, so you can reachtogrowth.Com slash community. If you want to join the community and it’s, uh, like Facebook without all the baggage, just, just a tight group of people where it’s controlled, you know, we only let that want to be there. You can join me there as well.
tom-jackobs: 25:35
And is this good for anybody with any type of grief or a specific?
brian-d–smith: 25:40
Anybody with any type of grief or not even in grief that are interested in those four questions. I here? Who am I? Where am I going? Where did I come from? Because we, we explore all that stuff because I, I believe that’s, that’s the key to overcoming your grief. Is understanding those things.
tom-jackobs: 25:57
Well, we’ll link all that up into the show notes as well. So, be sure to check the show notes and we’ll have all of your, your info there as well as your social media handles as well.
brian-d–smith: 26:06
Sounds great.
tom-jackobs: 26:07
Yeah. Well, Brian, thank you so much for sharing your story with us. It was very inspiring and how you, you were able to, take that tragedy and make a business out of it and help tons of people. So thank you so much for, for sharing that with the world.
brian-d–smith: 26:20
Yeah. Thanks for having me.
tom-jackobs: 26:22
And thank you listeners for watching and listening to the show, depending on what platform you are on, but make sure that you’re checking out what Brian’s doing and, and we’re providing all those links down in the show notes. You just check that out. And if you could do us a solid favor and give the show a rating and a review on your favorite podcast platform that helps spread the word about the show and Potentially help somebody that could use the advice that we shared today. So until next time, lead with your heart.
Speaker 2: 26:50
You’ve been listening to the Heart Led Business Show, hosted by Tom Jackobs. Join us next time for another inspiring journey into the heart of business.
