What if your business could thrive by focusing on passion and purpose? In this episode, marketing expert Stephen Kopshaw reveals how he transitioned from AOL to founding a successful agency that helps dental practices flourish. He shares the power of niching down, strategies for employee engagement, and the delicate balance between profit and purpose. Plus, Stephen dives into the challenges of digital marketing and the importance of holistic consulting for heart-led businesses. Tune in for insights on leadership, transformation, and freedom!
🎧Listen now to discover how heart-led strategies can transform your business!
Key Takeaways from this Episode
- The evolution from profit-focused to Heart-Led business
- The importance of communication and relationships in business growth
- The transformational power of accepting personal responsibility
- Building a business on the foundation of servant leadership
- The Freedom Framework: A guide to achieving your version of freedom
About the Guest
Meet Stephen Kopshaw, a visionary with over 17 years of experience in transforming businesses. As CEO of Metric Mentor Labs, he empowers busy entrepreneurs and business leaders to achieve more by doing less through his innovative F.R.E.E.D.O.M. Framework. Combining strategic planning, leadership, and system improvements, Stephen’s rare ability to forge deep, impactful relationships unites teams and drives extraordinary results.
Additional Resources
- Website: www.metricmentorlabs.com
- Instagram: www.instagram.com/stephenkopshaw
- LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/stephenkopshaw
- Facebook: www.facebook.com/stevekopshaw
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Up Next…
- Discover the inspiring story of Chris Pistorius, a marketing visionary who left the corporate world to champion heart-led businesses. With over 20 years of expertise, including roles at Google and AOL, Chris now leads a top-rated agency, empowering small businesses to thrive with tailored strategies and impactful insights.
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Explore the Dialogue’s Treasures: Unearth the insights within! Delve into the profound wisdom woven throughout our conversation.Â
Speaker: 0:01
Welcome to the Heart Led Business Show, where compassion meets commerce and leaders lead with love. Join your host, Tom Jackobs, as he delves into the insightful conversations with visionary business leaders who defy the status quo, putting humanity first and profit second. From heartfelt strategies to inspiring stories, this podcast is your compass in the world of conscious capitalism. So buckle up and let’s go. Let your heart guide your business journey.
Tom: 0:42
Hold on to your headphones, slip into a comfy seat, and secure your eardrums as we dive deep into the world of the heart led hustle. With us today is an entrepreneurial eagle soaring the success skies he has crafted himself. Stephen Kopshaw, the formidable Frankenstein of the Freedom Framework, that’s F R E E D O M framework and a connoisseur of connection. He’s not just a business soldier, but a strategist and lovable leader who has been lighting up the leadership for over 17 years. So buckle up folks, it’s time for that heartfelt happening with Stephen Kopshaw on the Heart Led Business Show. Stephen, welcome to the show.
Stephen: 1:22
Thanks for having me, Tom. I appreciate it. I, the 17 year thing, I will definitely say HeartLed was not me early on. There’s been a lot of lessons learned. So maybe HeartLed is probably more like seven to eight years. And there was a lot of lessons to learn along the way. So we’ll uncover those today though. I appreciate it,
Tom: 1:38
Yeah absolutely. And, you know, that is a really nice segue into the first question, which is always, what’s your definition of a heart led business?
Stephen: 1:47
So obviously we chatted for five minutes before we hopped on and the flow of the show and you said one thing and it was really people over profits and I know we’re going to dissect a lot of that as we talk today, which I’m really excited for, to be honest, because I think. You really choose two different paths as a business owner, and it is people or profits. And I’m not going to sit here and tell you your choice of profits is wrong. It’s just not for me. One of my favorite sayings in African proverb is, If you want to go fast, go alone, and if you want to go far, go together. The reality is for me to live my version of freedom and enjoy life. I enjoy doing it with people that I enjoy being around. So you mentioned the word connection for me. Relationships is probably one of the most important things. It’s allowed me to have fun, have access, meet new people, learn new things. More than what I would consider other avenues might teach me. And in order to have those opportunities, I need to lead with a people first or heart led mentality. And that’s probably one of the things that just served me the most over that career. I opened my first adult business in 2009, and I opened my first business in 2002 and here 22 years later from that first one, If it wasn’t people focused or heart focused and just doing call it the right thing focused, I don’t think I’d be able to be having this conversation with you today. So that’s it’s kind of the way I think about it a little bit.
Tom: 3:10
Could you define adult business, maybe? I might have a different definition.
Stephen: 3:15
Yeah, adult business for me would be, I was 18. I formed an LLC, I got an actual bank account. So I was in high school in 2002 and I started a landscaping company and you know, the money sat in the console of my car. With my friend, there was no LLC or anything. I think I’m far enough out of the IRS coming at me at that point in time. And I, I wasn’t making hundreds of thousands of dollars by any stretch, but a grownup business is probably a better way to put it. Not an adult business. I see what you mean on the other side of that at point.
Tom: 3:45
Right. Just to clarify.
Stephen: 3:47
Yeah, no, that’s fair. That’s fair. That’s fair. Listen, Tom, I am people focused in my adult business, Tom.
Tom: 3:53
Yeah, I know. I had that kind of same experience. You know, you had, the little hustles as a teenager and, you know, when you put your big boy pants on and get that LLC and that checking account, it really feels, you know, really real at that point too. Yeah. Cool. So, why the shift then from, you said earlier that maybe the first 10 years were not the heart led hustle that it is today. What happened during that time that, made the shift for you?
Stephen: 4:19
Yeah, you know, I’ll kick it off with the statement that always rings in my mind that I said. Way back when, and then a little story behind it, but it’s, I remember one time just saying, I don’t need to say thank you to my employees, their paycheck. But I just. Honestly speaking, that is who I used to be. And I didn’t fully appreciate or understand the value of my team, the value of my employees who believed in me, the business, the vision and those are things that it took me time to truly get it and understand it. And at this point in time, I’m pretty much polar opposite, but in 2014. So about 10 years ago, I remember just going through a rough time where I had a couple of businesses and. I wasn’t happy. I wasn’t free, right? Like I had four businesses at the time, brick and mortar. And for all intents and purposes, if you have four different businesses, brick and mortar, you should probably not be working in them like 15 hours a day at that juncture. But I, the reality is I was, and I was because I didn’t know how to be the leader that I needed to be. I actually had a conversation with my mentor at the time. His name is Kevin. And he said to me, he’s like, well, why do you think you’re going through this? Like, why is it tough? Or why are you not happy? And I’m like, well, this problem, they don’t do their job. The leads stink and this and all these things. And I just pointed the finger. Which younger, more immature Steve that think the world owed him something was it just fit. And he challenged me and he just basically called me. I was like, Steve, you’re the issue. And it was I mean, that was a two to three week process of kind of. Me continuing to point elsewhere, me being the issue, etc. But I really hadn’t kind of asked myself the question that let’s assume for a moment which is definitely not the case, right? But let’s assume for the moment I was in control and it was my fault. Still totally not the case though. And I really just thought like, all right, what would I do if it was my fault? Forgetting the fact that I didn’t believe it at the time. And I started to come up with these things of here’s what I would do. All right. You know what? This isn’t gonna work, but I’ll try this thing. Well, I tried the thing and then it worked. I’m like, ah, there’s a fluke no way. There’s no way giving my employees feedback, positive and negative regularly is going to help them grow more quickly and open up lines of communication. There’s no way they’re still going to act the way that they’re acting. And then oddly enough, within a really quick amount of time, they started to do things and we were more aligned. I’m like, huh, all right. Well. This thing is still broken. And then, the leads aren’t doing, and then the sales opportunities, those suck as well. And whatever, and change something there. And all of a sudden that kind of worked. I’m like. Man, maybe it is my fault. Like maybe I’m the one that’s the issue here and I’m just not seeing it. And I started to kind of take that approach. I don’t want to kind of go down that extreme ownership mentality where every single thing is my fault. I do believe that. There are things that are outside of your control to an extent, but I also believe you can still reduce how much they impact you and your belief system about it, but it was a one or two year transformation of trying to solve these things. And in my first five years of my grownup business I had only gotten to those four locations, but over the next four years, I went from four to 17. And when i look back the numbers, they just dont lie because they nerver do, I started to become the problem, in my mind i needed to find a way to fix it. And ultimately The biggest two things, and really I’ll say one thing, they’re very synonymous for me as leadership, but communication throughout that had to start to change and when that changed. All of a sudden I didn’t have to work 15 hours a day anymore. All of a sudden the profits kind of followed. All of a sudden the employees were happier and the clients were happier, etc, etc, etc. And opportunity started to come my way because I was doing what at the time now felt like the right thing. And over my dead body would I ever say something that I don’t have to say thank you to an employee anymore. So. But that’s really one of those biggest things. And it was a transformation, but I vividly remember that comment, but also my mentor at the time, making sure I knew.
Tom: 8:07
That’s. Wow. What a transformation and realization as well, even though you went through it kicking and screaming, it sounds like as well. Yeah.
Stephen: 8:15
We’re humans. We think we are not flawed beings, but the reality is we are. And that’s just a literal, very specific kind of, we all have something we’re not great at. And in order to be great, we have to start to fix those things and unlock them.
Tom: 8:27
How did that feel like two parts of this question? So going through the process, like in it, and then once you were on the other side of it, like what were the different feelings?
Stephen: 8:37
So I’m going to answer those kind of in reverse. The other side of it I don’t know, there was, there’s not a very specific point in time, but I can go like, oh, wow. Look at what I did because I made the change. I think. It is probably like, oh, he is just one of those people now. But like, I’m still working on a lot of changes, but there was obviously a lot of acceleration at points when I started to look back in history and try to figure out what’s the main thing that makes me unique? Why am I somebody that people should listen to, follow or take advice from or just want to be around. And that’s where the Freedom Framework was born and these components to it. It really came down to just looking historically and like, what did I do well when things were going well? And what was I doing poorly when things weren’t going well? And I still make mistakes. So I don’t know that there was a very specific point of time, but I think now 10 years after that, very specific point in time where transformation had to start happening. It allows me to just kind of look back and go, wow, here’s how far I’ve come, but I didn’t come this far to only come this far as Tom Brady might say. Right, so, there’s still more work to be done there, but the transition point was at first it was rough, like that first month or two when I’m like no, it’s not me. Well, but let me try to figure it out. And then how could my mentor that I pay so much money to tell me I’m the reason that like, he knows my life and just. There was a big identity issue that kind of went on throughout that time. It just became this whole, like, wait, who am I? What do I want to do? How do I want to be? Who do I want people to perceive me as? What is my brand ultimately? And those things, like when you don’t know those as a grownup, it’s a little bit hard. You’re like, man, like. I’m approaching 30 years old and I don’t know who I am right now. So it was pretty rough, but as I started to kind of test it and change those things and be very deliberate in what I was focusing on, you could see on the other side that there was positive results. So pretty quickly I started to kind of appreciate the journey. And I’d also say that’s when I was like, all right, I need to start reading more books or listening to audio books. I’m, I don’t. I don’t slow down enough to read the book, but I do listen to audio books. I need to find more people to be around that I want to learn from it, that are going to force me to be better because that uncomfortableness of that growth was actually what I needed to grow. And a lot of people avoid that feeling. I didn’t want to avoid the feeling anymore. After I started to see those opportunities, then there was the added benefits of just getting in the rooms with people. Trying to just find ways to create relationships. You unlock so many opportunities. Some of the people that I’ve been able to know and connect with and talk to, or the phone numbers that I have in my phone now are worth so much because of the value and what they’ve done in this world and the connections and the opportunities that presents that these, like, I wouldn’t be sitting here today, literally and figuratively on our podcast right now, recording this, being who I am to my people and the people that follow me, the businesses I have, if I hadn’t done those things. So I think maybe the first piece of advice that I’d like somebody that’s listening to this to get out of it is go be uncomfortable and get in rooms and just start talking to people not to get something, but to create a relationship, which is also a different kind of shift for. Us as humans, we typically do things to get things, do this to get a friendship out of it. And like, period, end of story, nothing more. And that’s interesting. It takes time to get that ROI.
Tom: 11:53
Well, and does there need to be an ROI? I mean, as you’re growing your network, you know, that’s, it is what it is. You know, it doesn’t necessarily have to be an ROI attached to it.
Stephen: 12:03
Well, so figuratively, from a profitability standpoint, in dollars and cents, there does not need to be an ROI, but from a relationship currency side of things. Having that extra relationship is an ROI for me, right? Like that, having somebody else in the world that I can reach out to. I’m having a bad day. I need somebody to talk to. I need advice. I want to, hey, you’re hosting an event. Can I come and just help? Like all of those things that are not tied to a financial outcome is a positive ROI for me. And that’s where it. Comes into kind of that ROI. So the relationship currency ROI to be very specific.
Tom: 12:37
No, that totally makes sense. And you said something earlier in that your identity was tied up in a certain way, and it was that shift of identity that you needed to make. And I hear a lot about, you know, people and companies have been really tied to an identity, which actually doesn’t serve them very well. And it really takes something, a catalyst to change that identity because, you know, blockbuster for example, it was, you know, we rent videos and that was their identity and they didn’t, you know, come around to the whole streaming. And obviously we know what happened to blockbuster for kids that are listening. Blockbuster was a chain of, you know, anyway, I don’t need to explain that. But what was the identity?
Stephen: 13:17
I remember going to the store and looking for the tapes or the CD, the DVDs when they eventually came out on like Thursday or Friday nights. And it was a half hour, 40 minute outing to go find what movie you’re going to watch for the night. And now not even a chance. I think there’s like one, literally one blockbuster left and I’m sure there’s some other. Nostalgic stores like that, but it’s a really good analogy for sure. Cause now you scroll on your TV through an app.
Tom: 13:40
It still takes me 20, 30 minutes to figure out what to watch.
Stephen: 13:43
A hundred percent. Absolutely.
Tom: 13:45
What was the identity that was kind of holding you back before the shift?
Stephen: 13:49
So, in a single word, it was scarcity. In a story to kind of tie that down. So I grew up poor. Like food stamps, double wide trailer, kind of experience. Mother, drug addict, poor. Like vivid memories of drugs and stuff like this. Like, like vivid memories of her doing heroin things, right? Like it’s just crazy stuff that I It was always survival for me. And at the same point, my identity was, well, I’m destined to not be great or something along those lines. And I don’t know that I ever said that because I probably thought I was awesome, but I also had these limiting beliefs that I. I was awesome at being just kind of okay. And as time went on, and as I went through this kind of place, I, the big thing that I started to understand, and again, a kind of cornerstone of the freedom framework is I had spent my, call it grownup career, moving away from being poor and making sure I was never going to be poor again still staying. Poor, but I was never poor enough to be on food stamps again, but I never really had enough money to go and enjoy life as I mentioned. So I started to kind of think about it from a visual perspective. If poor is this spot right here, I can completely run circles around this spot eight hours a day, six days a week, never go into that poor spot. So technically never being poor again, but pouring energy into never getting there. Or, I could start to realize I wanted to go from this poor spot to not poor over here, and spend eight hours a day, six days a week moving towards what I wanted. And, fear of going somewhere is way more powerful. Fear of loss, fear in general, is more powerful than gain. We know that as humans, right? If you win a hundred dollars, you’re excited. If you lose a hundred dollars, you’re like really upset, man. I lost that. And it’s the same delta, it’s the same gain or loss ratio that winning is less exciting. So for me, I had to start to realize what was I waking up for and working towards in life versus what was I trying to avoid in life? Because working towards something will avoid it, but also get me somewhere, or I can just spend all that energy to avoid it. So that energy that, that identity really had to shift more so of Well, what am I chasing? Like, what do I want in life? What is the thing I’m working towards? And that was the, what is my version of freedom? What does that look like? And where do I want to get to from there in the moment? It wasn’t those words, hindsight, being able to look back and putting the framework together and everything. That’s where. It really came down to a concise message that people could totally grasp onto and understand. But that was the big thing where I had to stop being scarcity mindset and like afraid to go back to the spot, but rather abundant mindset. And I’m working towards getting somewhere which accomplishes more than one goal versus the same energy to accomplish only one. And that was the most concise way.
Tom: 16:31
That’s a, great analogy, the scarcity the abundance mindset and what a great shift as well in showing, you know, like what’s possible when you think abundantly versus I need to keep what I have. And I’m sure that was one of the reasons that you didn’t have to thank your employees. You made the paycheck, right? Because it’s that money mindset or that scarcity that, you know, I’m the boss. You do what I say and end of the story. Right. And I’ve been guilty of that as well. Like employees was like, well, why do we need to do that? Because I write your paycheck. That’s why. And I think I actually did verbalize that at some points in my career.
Stephen: 17:03
All do those things and it’s how we get a, it’s why we have the opportunity to grow and learn and talk about.
Tom: 17:08
Do you feel like now you are a servant leader that you’re there to serve your employees?
Stephen: 17:13
absolutely 100%. I try to be a servant leader to everybody around me. We have a goal and we have a mission. And accountability comes along with that. A high level of communication comes along with that. After there’s relationship currency, I, and we have this conversation, I expect you to know what is going on. And there’s certain points in the day and the week and the month and our conversations where I can sit here and explain things more. And there’s certain times where it’s gotta be quick and dirty and we just have to get to the end result. And it’s not a lack of respect. It’s not a lack of caring for you. It’s not a lack of any of those pieces, but we have a job to get done. You expect me to get certain things done. I expect you to get certain things done, but on the other side of that, we have to care for each other, nurture each other, be there for each other, and all be on the same mission operating by the same set of core values. So I don’t want it to be mistaken that. a servant leader or somebody that is heart led as somebody who should be allowing people to walk all over them. Cause it has happened. And I definitely pundulum swung to be, oh, I’ll be here. And no matter what, and I don’t want to hurt your feelings. And you know, one of the ways that I talk about things like accountability and feedback is. I’m here to help make you better, but you’re here because you have a skill set that I don’t have. So we both can learn from each other and we both provide value to each other. My value to you is the feedback and creating opportunity. And the most important thing for me is I pour into you so much that you go and you’re able to get another opportunity somewhere else. But my expectation, and I’m telling you my expectation, so it’s not just the stuck in my brain and we’re communicating and we’re creating an agreement. And if you’re not okay with this, then this is not the place for you. But my expectation is when you have that opportunity, when you have outgrown this company, you are not going to leave me high and dry. That’s my ask. Right? And but that’s my goal. I want you to grow so big because if you do, you only help the company so much, but please don’t squash or do anything negative along the way. And those conversations upfront, now they move from expectations to agreements and it’s two way, we understand each other. And my job in that is giving you feedback. Sometimes it’s critical. Sometimes it’s to help you grow. Sometimes it’s, you did an amazing job and you’re awesome. And all the time it’s with the right intent and there’s some processes and systems that I’ve put in place, but I want to deliver soft skill and hard skills, soft skill, you, the person, personality, how you show up, hard skill, the outcomes you’re supposed to be creating on a consistent basis. So, you know, where you stand. According to your goals, but I also want to teach you how to do that a for yourself, but also be so you can naturally figure out the barometer and we can spend more time brainstorming on some new things versus having to spend two hours a month diving into all those details. We now get to spend 30 minutes a month on that because you get it and you show up to me. With here’s where I’m at, it’s not a judgment. I, when I give you feedback, you know, it’s not out of feelings. It’s just out of intent to help make you better. My job is to deliver to you in a kind, appropriate manner. And your job is to not take it personally. And if you’re not sure your job is to then ask questions and clarify things. But it’s also not an excuse for me to be mean, for me to be disrespectful or things there. And that’s where I say leader, servant, leader, but communication is probably, or not probably, it is the root of opportunity when it comes to an employer employee relationship and being able to help people grow. You have to be able to communicate. People have to be able to understand you and that’s not just the words that you use, but it’s also your body language. It’s how you say it, your tonality that starts.
Tom: 20:43
Yeah, absolutely. And I like what you said too about the intent of the message. I think I do sales coaching and that’s a hundred percent is what we talk about is the intent of what you say is for what purpose. And if the intent is to hurt somebody, well, that’s probably going to happen. If the intent is to help them grow, then that will help as well. And that intent starts. Thanks. with yourself, and it should come through in the communication style then to whomever you’re speaking with. I like that. That’s a great concept. Yeah. Cool. Well, Stephen, how can people learn a little bit more about what you do, the freedom method, freedom framework, sorry. And you know, what great work that you’re working on.
Stephen: 21:22
Yeah. Follow me on social media. Instagram and Facebook are the two places that I hang out most and just type my name in there. Stephen with a P H Kopshaw with a K and you’ll find me feel free to DM me, say, hey, follow me. And I put a lot of content out there. I’m just trying to help and just share the message that I have.
Tom: 21:41
And can you just give me a quick rundown on the freedom framework?
Stephen: 21:44
Yeah. So Freedom Framework, the big first conversation is trying to understand what your version of freedom is. Why are you working? Why are you waking up every day to accomplish a thing? What is that getting you on the other side of that? That takes a few hours for most people to really hone in on that. And a lot of times it’s because the easiest way to quantify what freedom is the amount of dollars and cents you need to unlock the freedom. And we have this money mindset issue that we always have to work through. So. That’s really the cornerstone. Freedom, the seven letters, is also seven steps. So F is filter, which is figure out what we need to be working on, so that way we know with confidence that’s the right thing. R is once we understand it, relate it to a person, a process, a system, a software, something, so we know it’s going to get taken care of. It’s easy to identify something and not get the work done. The first E, step three, is educate. We need to learn what are the different ways we could solve the problem, but then what are the different outcomes we can create? The step four, the second E is empower. If you’re a solopreneur, you need to empower yourself to kind of mess up because a lot of times we don’t take action for fear of failure. If you have a team, you need to give up control and allow them to actually get it done. And so much so that they don’t have to text you to say, hey, I can’t get into the system and get the two factor authentication code again, right? Like empower them to get it done. Step five, the D is define, define what success actually looks like. So that way we know, is it worth doing this? You don’t want to spend 50, 000 of effort, time, and money to create a 51, 000 outcome. So we want to make sure we’re doing it for the right reason, but also when you get there, we need to kind of have that debrief opportunity of did I underperform? Did I overperform? What did I learn through the process? How do I change it next time? Step six, the O is optimize. We essentially have to ask the question of without adding additional resources. So don’t spend more time or money. Can I increase the ROI on the thing that I’m doing or we’re focusing on? Or can I get more juice, so to speak, out of the squeeze? Step seven, M, maximize. If I was to spend more time or money, hire somebody, get a new software, whatever, would the ROI be worth it? And I typically say, we need to be able to get a three to three or four to one ROI for it to make sense. Otherwise you probably shouldn’t invest the time and money to go do that. And then as we go through those process, we check all those boxes. We now go back to filter and what is it that we need to be working on? If you’re a client of mine, we break down that filter step. So one of the biggest issues is most business owners don’t know how to quantify what they have to work on. So I have the profit per acquisition formula. Which is ultimately a diagnostic tool for us to start to look at our business a different way and give You a higher level of confidence to be able to actually focus on the thing you’re doing. Because we oftentimes think, yeah, I should fix this. And I, but I don’t take action because I don’t believe it, or we go back emotionally to what we’re good at and just focus there because we can get the wins and it makes us feel good. But that likely isn’t the thing in your business that you need to work on either. And that’s kind of a big point in the beginning where we think about our numbers and our data.
Tom: 24:42
That’s great. And I can see how that can create that freedom and just a really great business. And just a good framework for creating the business of your dreams. That’s great. Thanks for sharing that. Right. And Stephen, thank you so much for being on the Heart Led Business Show. The stories, the advice that you gave was just amazing. I know our listeners are going to really appreciate that. So thank you so much for being here today.
Stephen: 25:03
Absolutely. Thanks for having me. I appreciate the conversation. If we ever want to dive in a little bit deeper, feel free to reach out.
Tom: 25:09
And thank you listeners for listening and watching today’s episode. I certainly appreciate it. I know Stephen appreciates it as well, but make sure that you’re also checking out everything that he’s doing and we’ll link all of that up into the show notes. Take him up on that offer, send him a DM, say hello. I know he’ll certainly appreciate that when listeners reach out like that. And if you could do me a solid favor as well and give the show a rating and review, just takes a few seconds, just hit that rating button on Spotify, Apple, that helps spread the word about the show and get more people involved in the heart led business of their dreams. So until next time, lead with your heart.
Speaker 2: 25:47
You’ve been listening to the Heart Led Business Show, hosted by Tom Jackobs. Join us next time for another inspiring journey into the heart of business.
